rEaLiTy
Sometimes dreams alter the course of an entire life.
--Judith Duerk
What shall I start with first?
–rubs head-
Saturday: To Mr. Chow's, Karen's and Pauline's homes.
The initial plans got screwed up during the week towards the date because of the clashing time tables of everyone who was able to make it. Then again, I should not be complaining coz everything turned out fine in the end. ^-^
Took the LRT for the first time that day. It reminds me of the train at the airport. Come to think of it...the whole area looks more like Sentosa or the Sahara...all the flora and fauna around...Heh~ Jill, Baolin, Desmond, Genevieve, Farah and I went to Mr. Chow’s house to bai nian. Ate a lot. Talked a lot. Watched Dodge Ball and xXx. We could have continued watching but we had to make a run for Karen’s house coz it was getting pretty late.
Karen’s house is in Pungol. So near Malaysia that handphone reception is extremely crappfied. Played Tai ti, Si ke puek and other games. Grand total gain: -$2.80. That is a whole lot better than losing 10 bucks. Haha… From there, the headless chicken took over and I made for home.
Ran home to change and make for Pauline’s place to eat dinner and help out with her steamboat bonanza. Wow, her house was very packed. The run there kinda busted my knee again. It is still hurting t the moment. Anyway, I had a good time making new friends and helping out. Glorified ‘waitress’ for the evening. Haha…
pAu: “hi sweetie, thanks so much for helping me out with the steamboat. and listening to my whining session yesterday. will miss ya leh very much. *muaks*”
No problemo Pau. Anytime. :) I will miss you too, if anything the situations have brought us closer, and that is something to be thankful for eh? ^-^
Sunday: The usual routine minus badminton/taekwondo.
CNY don have exercise session. Jiat lut ah~ Need to exercise more. Bring it on man! Wooohooo~ Can’t wait for the next training session. ^-^
Monday: Valentine’s Day + Nageb's extra IBM class.
We were supposed to bring notes for unit 1, 2 and 3. The blur child in me made me bring only Unit 1. -.=;;; I suffered for my folly, added to that the fact that I almost fell asleep during lesson is not a very good thing. But never the less, class ended earlier than expected. Rotted with Yang Mui and waited for time to pass because she had an appointment with her friend at a later time. Hope you had a good time Yang Mui!
Reality hit me again, that's why I reached home with a splitting headache and the dark clouds started to form around my head. My mood got very dark and it remained that way for another 12 odd hours. The flood gates opened. Vulgarities all over the place. Depression was the main order of the day I guess.
First time in my life that I spent 5 hours online. Was online chatting and surfing past 2am. Was very close to getting a huge slap from TKM. Better not do it again….have to cut down on internet time… for the sake of the bills and my studying.
Tuesday: Mahjong! Mahjong! Mahjong! Mahjong! And cell group.
Chu qi ala 7th day of the Lunar New Year ala Everyone’s birthday.
Happy Belated birthday to everyone!
Read the newspaper and felt reality punching me in the stomach.
Went to Siya’s place for a gathering. Yingz, Sheena, Adeline were there as well. Joyce was late. Siya’s Mum bought us lunch. Thanks Auntie!
The mahjong orgy was the best I have ever experienced to date. We played and talked/ joked all the way. Touching on topics from SRJC to the theory of losing. –migumi laughter- We did not play with money. This time round it was kind of sad that we did not play with money because I won quite a bit. When I won, I won big. I would go into the details of every game we played, then again, I think I would bore you to death. I brought along my PS2 games, but we were so caught u in our mahjong that we forgot all about the PS2, so I guess we will leave the games for Saturday. ^-^
I sure miss the lot. It would be real nice if we could have another gathering like this one soon.
Joyce bought roses for everyone of us. Thanks Joyce! I love the green rose! When you going to buy me another one? –migumi laughter-
We played for more than 5+ hours straight. Lost track of time we did and the sun set in the west. By that time, I was on the verge of being extremely late for cell group. Picked up my hand phone I did and rang Jeff did I. Told him I would be late for cell. The conversation with him went here and there and ended in him driving over to Siya’ place to pick me up. Had he not done so, I would have been very late. I was also on worship leading duty so being late would have been rather mean to Winnie. I had thoughts of blowing off cell to go to Joyce’s home for Lo Hey, the responsible person in me won in the end. That’s why I called Jeff.
Worship leading was good. The word made me blur but over all the meeting was good. Thorny issues were faced and discussed.
Overall, the positive things of the day won.
Wednesday: Everyone out of the house except me. TKD training in the evening.
TKM and YKM went out for lunch. Daddy went to work. That left me all alone in the house.
What was I supposed to do? Study.
What did I do? Watch television, played computer, listened to music, tried to study. Did manage to study but ended up dozing off. -.-;;; I also hit my head in the morning. Lost my memory and was in a daze for quite a while. Talked weird too. Heh~ opppz…did I forget anything else for that day?
TKD was good. I miss not having training. I get to have fun and work out at the same time. What could be more fun? Sadly, I strained my right leg again…now it hurts…gosh… I might need to go for faith healing…haha~
-‘Seriousness’ is come-
Reality is getting me down.
On Tuesday, there was an article in the newspaper stating that a man had killed an infant and only got 4 months of jail for his ‘accident’. The total injustice of the matter brought tears to my eyes and the switch was force on.
If 4 months is given for the death of a child, does killing an elderly person mean that you would have life imprisonment?
During the last few days, other issues had been getting to me and I was rather pissed off by the happenings not to mention the people who caused all the crap to happen. My memories were also coming back to haunt me. Add them to the foreboding feeling I had been having and you would have a very depressed and morbid thinking young lady. If I were to voice my inner thoughts of that period, I would probably be sent to S.I.M.H. by my parents or any of my friends.
My dreams are so vivid.
Resulting in my inability to tell the difference between what is created in my mind and can be touched.
I sometimes wish they were my reality instead of the one I wake up to.
I ask, asked and am still asking questions.
There are no answers to them.
Who has the answers?
What makes them so smart as to be able to have the answers?
The world is so confusing and I don’t understand why certain things happen.
Is knowledge really power?
Does having information about certain things really give one power?
What do you do when information is forced down your throat?
You would love to do something about the situation(s), but you know that inference on your part would only make things worse.
Can honestly say that you could sit back and do nothing?
I am flawed.
I am angry.
Is it just me?
Or is the reality truly painted as such?
I need to turn the switch off for the sake of my sanity.
It will not be switched off for long.
It will be turned on again.
Someday… not too soon I hope.
Too much crying within such a small time frame is not good for my eyes.
God help me.
God help us all.
-Back to ‘normal’-
I recently watched ’13 going on 30’. It is a very sweet movie. Falls right smack in the middle of the chick-flick category. Heard this song quite a while ago on the radio but heard it again in the movie. I like the tune and part of the lyrics. :)
Liz Phair – Why Can’t I?
Get a load of me,
Get a load of you,
Walking down the street
And I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you,
When we're out at night,
Got a girlfriend
You say it isn't right,
And I've got someone waiting too.
The problem is, this is just the beginning
We're already wet and we're gonna go swimming
Chorus:
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Its inevitable... it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me...
Why can't I breathe whenever i think about you
Isn't this the best part of breaking up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
Its an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful?
Here we go we are at the beginning
we haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning
Chorus:
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
I'd love for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
For this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever talk about you
Chorus
whenever i think about you (x4)
To my peeps from 1a9 2002/ 2a8 2003:
This Saturday at Siya’s place again!
Mahjong orgy once more!
Hua Xian Zi *driiing - driiing*
Wooohoooo~
See you guys there! :)
Can’t wait!
Phew! Tired liao… Kor kor’s P.O.P. is in the evening!
I wonder what I shall/should/will wear…
-rubs head-
Cheers! ^-^
--Judith Duerk
What shall I start with first?
–rubs head-
Saturday: To Mr. Chow's, Karen's and Pauline's homes.
The initial plans got screwed up during the week towards the date because of the clashing time tables of everyone who was able to make it. Then again, I should not be complaining coz everything turned out fine in the end. ^-^
Took the LRT for the first time that day. It reminds me of the train at the airport. Come to think of it...the whole area looks more like Sentosa or the Sahara...all the flora and fauna around...Heh~ Jill, Baolin, Desmond, Genevieve, Farah and I went to Mr. Chow’s house to bai nian. Ate a lot. Talked a lot. Watched Dodge Ball and xXx. We could have continued watching but we had to make a run for Karen’s house coz it was getting pretty late.
Karen’s house is in Pungol. So near Malaysia that handphone reception is extremely crappfied. Played Tai ti, Si ke puek and other games. Grand total gain: -$2.80. That is a whole lot better than losing 10 bucks. Haha… From there, the headless chicken took over and I made for home.
Ran home to change and make for Pauline’s place to eat dinner and help out with her steamboat bonanza. Wow, her house was very packed. The run there kinda busted my knee again. It is still hurting t the moment. Anyway, I had a good time making new friends and helping out. Glorified ‘waitress’ for the evening. Haha…
pAu: “hi sweetie, thanks so much for helping me out with the steamboat. and listening to my whining session yesterday. will miss ya leh very much. *muaks*”
No problemo Pau. Anytime. :) I will miss you too, if anything the situations have brought us closer, and that is something to be thankful for eh? ^-^
Sunday: The usual routine minus badminton/taekwondo.
CNY don have exercise session. Jiat lut ah~ Need to exercise more. Bring it on man! Wooohooo~ Can’t wait for the next training session. ^-^
Monday: Valentine’s Day + Nageb's extra IBM class.
We were supposed to bring notes for unit 1, 2 and 3. The blur child in me made me bring only Unit 1. -.=;;; I suffered for my folly, added to that the fact that I almost fell asleep during lesson is not a very good thing. But never the less, class ended earlier than expected. Rotted with Yang Mui and waited for time to pass because she had an appointment with her friend at a later time. Hope you had a good time Yang Mui!
Reality hit me again, that's why I reached home with a splitting headache and the dark clouds started to form around my head. My mood got very dark and it remained that way for another 12 odd hours. The flood gates opened. Vulgarities all over the place. Depression was the main order of the day I guess.
First time in my life that I spent 5 hours online. Was online chatting and surfing past 2am. Was very close to getting a huge slap from TKM. Better not do it again….have to cut down on internet time… for the sake of the bills and my studying.
Tuesday: Mahjong! Mahjong! Mahjong! Mahjong! And cell group.
Chu qi ala 7th day of the Lunar New Year ala Everyone’s birthday.
Happy Belated birthday to everyone!
Read the newspaper and felt reality punching me in the stomach.
Went to Siya’s place for a gathering. Yingz, Sheena, Adeline were there as well. Joyce was late. Siya’s Mum bought us lunch. Thanks Auntie!
The mahjong orgy was the best I have ever experienced to date. We played and talked/ joked all the way. Touching on topics from SRJC to the theory of losing. –migumi laughter- We did not play with money. This time round it was kind of sad that we did not play with money because I won quite a bit. When I won, I won big. I would go into the details of every game we played, then again, I think I would bore you to death. I brought along my PS2 games, but we were so caught u in our mahjong that we forgot all about the PS2, so I guess we will leave the games for Saturday. ^-^
I sure miss the lot. It would be real nice if we could have another gathering like this one soon.
Joyce bought roses for everyone of us. Thanks Joyce! I love the green rose! When you going to buy me another one? –migumi laughter-
We played for more than 5+ hours straight. Lost track of time we did and the sun set in the west. By that time, I was on the verge of being extremely late for cell group. Picked up my hand phone I did and rang Jeff did I. Told him I would be late for cell. The conversation with him went here and there and ended in him driving over to Siya’ place to pick me up. Had he not done so, I would have been very late. I was also on worship leading duty so being late would have been rather mean to Winnie. I had thoughts of blowing off cell to go to Joyce’s home for Lo Hey, the responsible person in me won in the end. That’s why I called Jeff.
Worship leading was good. The word made me blur but over all the meeting was good. Thorny issues were faced and discussed.
Overall, the positive things of the day won.
Wednesday: Everyone out of the house except me. TKD training in the evening.
TKM and YKM went out for lunch. Daddy went to work. That left me all alone in the house.
What was I supposed to do? Study.
What did I do? Watch television, played computer, listened to music, tried to study. Did manage to study but ended up dozing off. -.-;;; I also hit my head in the morning. Lost my memory and was in a daze for quite a while. Talked weird too. Heh~ opppz…did I forget anything else for that day?
TKD was good. I miss not having training. I get to have fun and work out at the same time. What could be more fun? Sadly, I strained my right leg again…now it hurts…gosh… I might need to go for faith healing…haha~
-‘Seriousness’ is come-
Reality is getting me down.
On Tuesday, there was an article in the newspaper stating that a man had killed an infant and only got 4 months of jail for his ‘accident’. The total injustice of the matter brought tears to my eyes and the switch was force on.
If 4 months is given for the death of a child, does killing an elderly person mean that you would have life imprisonment?
During the last few days, other issues had been getting to me and I was rather pissed off by the happenings not to mention the people who caused all the crap to happen. My memories were also coming back to haunt me. Add them to the foreboding feeling I had been having and you would have a very depressed and morbid thinking young lady. If I were to voice my inner thoughts of that period, I would probably be sent to S.I.M.H. by my parents or any of my friends.
My dreams are so vivid.
Resulting in my inability to tell the difference between what is created in my mind and can be touched.
I sometimes wish they were my reality instead of the one I wake up to.
I ask, asked and am still asking questions.
There are no answers to them.
Who has the answers?
What makes them so smart as to be able to have the answers?
The world is so confusing and I don’t understand why certain things happen.
Is knowledge really power?
Does having information about certain things really give one power?
What do you do when information is forced down your throat?
You would love to do something about the situation(s), but you know that inference on your part would only make things worse.
Can honestly say that you could sit back and do nothing?
I am flawed.
I am angry.
Is it just me?
Or is the reality truly painted as such?
I need to turn the switch off for the sake of my sanity.
It will not be switched off for long.
It will be turned on again.
Someday… not too soon I hope.
Too much crying within such a small time frame is not good for my eyes.
God help me.
God help us all.
-Back to ‘normal’-
I recently watched ’13 going on 30’. It is a very sweet movie. Falls right smack in the middle of the chick-flick category. Heard this song quite a while ago on the radio but heard it again in the movie. I like the tune and part of the lyrics. :)
Liz Phair – Why Can’t I?
Get a load of me,
Get a load of you,
Walking down the street
And I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you,
When we're out at night,
Got a girlfriend
You say it isn't right,
And I've got someone waiting too.
The problem is, this is just the beginning
We're already wet and we're gonna go swimming
Chorus:
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Its inevitable... it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me...
Why can't I breathe whenever i think about you
Isn't this the best part of breaking up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
Its an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful?
Here we go we are at the beginning
we haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning
Chorus:
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
I'd love for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
For this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever talk about you
Chorus
whenever i think about you (x4)
To my peeps from 1a9 2002/ 2a8 2003:
This Saturday at Siya’s place again!
Mahjong orgy once more!
Hua Xian Zi *driiing - driiing*
Wooohoooo~
See you guys there! :)
Can’t wait!
Phew! Tired liao… Kor kor’s P.O.P. is in the evening!
I wonder what I shall/should/will wear…
-rubs head-
Cheers! ^-^
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home